- The young adults did not interact with the leaders of the The River - the leaders always had to initiate if they were to expect any interaction.
- The attendees did not interact with the speaker except to laugh nervously, or in inappropriate places (for example, when the speaker attempted to give the Hebraic word for certain themes in the Bible [praise, stewardship, etc.] and then defined the Hebrew word, the audience would laugh as if it were a joke.
- As the speaker was asking the students to think about things that were keeping them from growing deeper in the Lord (jobs, money, boy/girl-friend, etc.) a couple sitting in front of me was touching each other in a very friendly manner... This is probably sounding very judgmental, but an apparent friend of the couple (sitting next to them) looked at the girlfriend, raised her eyes brows and smiled in that "uh huhh" type of way. Perhaps I'm reading too much into this, but don't you think our generation would be closer to God if we focused on God at church instead of focusedly touching our boy/girl friend?
Perhaps I am being to judgemental, perhaps I don't understand. Perhaps being home schooled my entire life has left me to expecting to much from other people, especially my peers.
Perhaps.. perhaps... perhaps...
Or... Perhaps I expect what ought to be expected of my peers, raise the bar of expectation, expect them to research and dig deeper into finding the true, God-intended meaning of words...
Perhaps I am following my calling in life, to expect much of me, but expecting too much of others in my generation..
What is one to do, when they can see all that could be enriched, but perfectly incapable of making it into reality because fear sets in, or you feel inadequate, or "you're younger than those people," "you don't have enough experience," "you've only gone once?"
Should I stand up and Face my Giants, or sit back and let Someone Else stand up?
Should I go against the flow of culture, or live my life on the line, as my friends in the Souled Out ministry do?
Where is the line between too high of expectations, and raising the bar to where God intended it?
When do we know, as followers of Christ, when the time has come to STAND UP, and when we are supposed to focus on SOMETHING ELSE?
Very distinctly, a few weeks ago, God spoke to me. He said that my ministry was "right here.. right amidst these young adults of 2-13... Right here, where the young woman are seeking help, guidance, support and mentors... Right here, among the young woman, and young children is where I called you."
So does this mean I edit and copy up a list of "suggestions" on our computer of The River, and gently, thoughtfully, prayerfully and encouragingly give the list to our youth pastor?
Or does this mean I simply pray and ask God to bring someone into the church who has a heart for ministry?